Day 95, Nathaly: Then & Now

So, it's been 5 days and I still don't exactly know what to say... I've kind of be avoiding this post because -- what can I share that is of any use of any of you out there??  This whole journey has been so personal and in-my-head that I struggle with crafting a "final" post.  I'm honestly still processing and feel I've probably learned just as much in this last week post-PCP or so as I did the first 5 days of the program. Sooooooo.....

Before and after pictures is what you're after, right? lol That's a simple measure of progress. This first set you'll likely be familiar with from our PCP Flickr stream:

Day 1 ...................................................................................................... & Day 90

In the 90 days of the Peak Condition Project, I:

• Lost 10 kilos (22 lbs)!!
• Lost 9 cms off my waistline, 8 cms off my thigh, and 2.5 cms off my bicep (I started measuring on Day 22, actually -- so these numbers only reflect 68 days of fat loss)
• Returned to a bra-line width of 34 inches
• Went down 2 full pant sizes (from a 12 to an 8 -- and maybe 3 if you consider that I really should've been rocking 14s but refused to accept it)

But these numbers are meaningless, really..  So much of the benefits I've derived from these last 90 days has been in terms of increased self-confidence, self-appreciation, and a slowly increasing sense of the value of self-care (still working on that last one!). In the 90 days of the Peak Condition project, I:

• Began to feel sexy again (enough to recently return a small collection of thongs Ramiro has probably completely forgotten about back to my undies dresser from a box at the bottom of the closet)
• Realized how little of me I dedicated to me in the past
• Learned I actually enjoy jumping rope -- I think I've been getting lots of those happy-chemicals to the brain b/c of it!
• Collected a small toolkit of easy-to-make, delicious, balanced and good-for-you meals (if you've got more, send them my way!)

And this next set of pictures, offers a slightly longer historical timeline. "Then" was October of 2009, when I decided I'd had enough of my chubbiness and decided to once again attempt to take control of my weight & body image issues..  I did this by eating smaller portions (of whatever I wanted), taking the dog on longer walks, and going to university fitness classes 1 or 2 times a week.  A couple months later, I realized this approach wasn't terribly productive and I decided to up the ante -- I started counting calories and publishing my weight on Facebook once a week as a status update. I learned that the community accountability piece was something I really benefited from and started to lose about .5 lbs per week on average, but did some definite yo-yo'ing and lots of stress eating (2nd year of grad school...) and was still feeling frustrated. 

By the time Ramiro mentioned this cool thing one of his co-worker's was doing (have you all met Mr. Will Awesome?), I was again ready to take another small step forward, but the hubster seemed to think I was better off taking a leap instead and urged me to consider doing the PCP. And, frankly, he was RIGHT.  (So nice to have that sort of vote of confidence from my better half). Doing it as a couple was by far my the biggest source of strength for getting through this all, and well -- here're the pics to prove it was a good move!

Then............................................... & Now
(I tried to re-create the shot as best I could, but I can't find that sweater anywhere.. )

There's so much more to say (about setting good priorities and truly living healthily), but I think I'll try to capture that in another post.. Maybe the words to express my heartfelt appreciation for Patrick and Team Fantastic-Carrots-who-eat-LAGs-for-breakfast will come to me sometime soon.  Keep posted, if you wish.  And thank you, thank you, thank you for believing in us!

Heart hugs,

Nathaly

Well, and just for fun -- a Halloween family shot!

A bumble bee, Marge Simpson & Bat-dog

Day 78, Nathaly: Indulgence 3, Free Clothes, Commitments

Hi folks,

More than Ramiro does, I really count on indulgences. So, before he read the email describing our 3rd and final indulgence, I knew it was coming and had decided I was gonna be the bigger person and declare that I didn't deserved it (given my recent slacking from the 350 Global Work Party stuff).  Surprisingly, Ramiro was also considering not taking an indulgence, that is until I read the email from Patrick and realized this was a full blowout meal and convinced him and myself against our prior thoughts.  So I figured -- fuck it!  Bring on the cheese & chocolate!! (which I've been missing big-time) and it didn't help that it was raining out, the fridge was empty of all protein sources and junk is never more than a phone call away soooo...

We ordered a pizza! There are no pictures of it b/c the snarfage was all-encompassing. I made the phone call around 8pm (after much debate weighing going to the store or ordering out while figuring out how to acquire a post-indulgence/PCP-compliant protein source for the following day's lunch) and we quickly noticed that the time of day would make working out after dinner ridiculous, so we got to banging out the workout only to be rudely interrupted by an early pizza delivery kid making it so that the pie sat there on the coffee table smelling of absolute deliciousness all through those fucking planks. URGH.

And here's the verdict:  honestly, not that great..  Certainly not amazing enough to be worth HALF of my daily caloric intake.  I mean, WTF?!  Don't get me wrong, it was lovely and made by a locally-owned company that uses VT flour to make organic whole wheat crust with yummy sauce and a good balance of toppings to cheese. Frankly, it was a pretty good pizza, but somehow.. it didn't do it for me.  It felt almost like an indulgence wasted because I had made it out to be so much more than it was. After the meal, I shared the thought with Ramiro and he thinks it's a matter of associating pizza with the greater satisfaction that comes with the pizza ordering phenomenon -- that quick burst of joy that comes from the ease of getting a warm, cheesy meal delivered right to your doorstep and then pushing the couches together for the ultimate in non-bedroom comfort and then cuddling up next to the hubster to watch a fun movie on the tube on a rainy weekend evening with little Tigger curled up at our feet. aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.

Dude, was he right!!  I was COUNTING on that pizza to be all those things for me when, in fact, all it is is..  well, only a pizza. lol  Hence, my issue with emotional eating and why Indulgence 3 was once again a lesson in my struggle to treat food like what it should be: nourishment!

OK -- that took a little longer to write than I was hoping, so on to item 2 of the title! Free clothes!! Here in crunchy/green VT there is a lovely thing called the Front Porch Forum -- it is truly made of awesome.  It's a free neighborhood-based daily email ranging from offers for canning jars to reports of missing pets and debates on downtown-sidewalk-sitting. Oops -- sidetracking again. Anyways there was a free clothes event called "Attire for Hire" (which I learned about on the Front Porch Forum) hosted by an organization whose mission it is to help people get ready for the professional world.  I scored a bunch of stuff! A couple pant suits, lots of button-down blouses & professional jackets, some skirts and even a leather jacket.  I mean seriously -- two boxes of clothes for FREE!!  OK -- i'm still reeling in joy, but that is also beside the point. lol.  Here's what I want to talk to y'all about: I've been having some issues with my current PCP status (á la recent posts by Kim).  I'm closer to where I want to be, but I'm still not really feeling great about my body image and the act of trying on a bunch of clothes in front of a mirror really brought that home for me. As it turns out, I'm only really a fan of the today-me that exists in the mirror for about a half-second at a time (while taking a top off over my head).  At that moment, when my arms are reaching up and stretching my tummy fat across a temporarily longer torso, I feel a little sexy.  So, here's the disappointing part: I started this program b/c I wanted to a) lose weight, b) deal with my stress eating (see above) and c) develop some life-long-fitness habits.  And yet, what keeps me going is the way I look in the mirror??  I mean, I'm really not a vain person, but how superficial is that?!

Which brings me to the commitments aspect of this post.  I decided yesterday that it would be a waste of my time and energy up to this point to NOT keep going with the program until I got to the point I want to be at.  And that point isn't some pie-in-the-sky super model ideal (my goal person is Ugly Betty, for heaven's sake!).  So then I stopped to think about what the ultimate me-look really is and realized that my actual goal person is me at 17, except with my current boob size & my adult woman fuller hips. And to take it a step further, it was me that summer in that two-piece halter top..  Wow -- do I sound sad to you? Cuz I'm depressing myself with my cliché-ness.

Anyways, there it is.  It's not a great reason to want to continue the PCP, but as long as it keeps me on this good thing, I'm going with it and will have to deal with the psychology of all this at some later time.  lol

Thanks again for listening!

heart hugs,

Nathaly

Day 56, Nathaly: On 34s, brunch & 4-min sets

Hey all,

Not much new today.  Have been able to get through that mid-week slump by leaning on Ramiro quite a bit -- I know I would secretly be skipping workouts & eating out a lot if it weren't for his encouragement and his steadfast determination and pure joy at this whole getting fit thing.  It doesn't hurt that he's constantly complimenting me on the weight loss.  :)

WARNING: Potential TMI alert! (especially if you're a guy..)

Speaking of which -- I'm back down to a 34 bra size!  I realized early this week that I was feeling pretty loose-y goose-y in my 36 & decided to go into the local ladies undergarments store for a fitting. The assistant seemed pretty sure I was in the 34 range, which gave me a quick jolt of gratitude for all this effort, but it dissipated a bit when I started doing some fittings and found that even though the tightest setting of the 36 has come to feel too roomy, the loosest I can go on a 34 is still a little snug.  I've still got work to do, but man do I love this new bra!

It's a Saturday so we slept in like usual and after the dog walk (which resulted in a quick visit to a friend's house) and the jumps, I was pretty much starving for breakfast.  AND it was once again late enough in the day that I had to do a bit of PCP-finagling and get in both my bfast & lunch portions.  That's a LOT of eating for one sitting, let me tell you!  Especially when it's of some weird combination of whatever can be prepared most quickly.  I hate those thrown-together meals.  It turned out alright though: I wrapped some chicken and a scrambled egg in a wheat tortilla and had some zucchini & corn on the side. It would've been sooo much nicer to just walk to a local diner and order my usual homefries with cheese & onions and over-easy eggs, but I fought back the urge (again, mostly a factor of having Ramiro as a PCP partner and watchdog).

Regarding jumping rope in 4-minute sets:  for the first time this morning, I felt comfortable setting the alarm clock on my phone instead of using the stopwatch function.  I had to sorta sit there waiting for the minute to change, but it was such a better solution than constantly fighting that urge to glance over every 20 secs to see if I can stop yet.  After the 1st set of jumps, I sat and figured I'd just break for a minute to start the next set of 4, but that was over in a heartbeat!  I rushed to get into my next set, figuring I must've been very distracted my the mommy slurping up maple creemee excess from a toddlers cone (mmmm creemees!) and jumped my way through an almost perfect second set.  The next experiment with breaking for only one minute confirmed that sneaking suspicion: time is a fickle beast.  4 minutes jumping can feel never-ending, but 1 minute sitting on the porch is over before you can even catch your breath.  I decided to just break until I felt ready to go again between the 3rd & 4th set and learned that my preferred break time is a whopping 3 minutes long.  Talk about inefficient!!  Jumping for 4 & breaking for 3 -- no wonder work outs take forever!  I'm gonna try to get better about breaking for only the allotted times from now on...  I almost wish I was working out in the morning solely so that I could have more of an urge to get it all over with already -- when working out at night, the only thing before me is that measly egg white, apple & milk; a shower & the bed. One solution I've found is my Shakira Pandora station.  Do what it takes, right?