#1 Ramiro and I have thighs! (I mean, I think I can see some definition that wasn't there before -- on day 6! woohoo squats!)
#2 Carrot cake (one of my all-time favorite desserts) has kinda lost it's touch. I ate my half cuz I thought I really wanted it -- it's almost like I didn't want to regret not having eaten it a couple weeks into the hard-core dieting stuff.. (kinda like the rib-eye - see previous post). But even a couple bites in, I knew I wasn't really feeling it. And now I can't get the taste of the thick too-sweet icing off my tongue. Eck. I could've gone with some blueberries instead, I think. Truth is, I probably could've gone without dessert, but old habits are hard to break. Truth is, this isn't hunger. It's another beast altogether.. It's all mental. Maybe it's punishment eating -- I know Ramiro thinks that's a little ridiculous, but maybe some of y'all out there can sympathize? I didn't get much writing done today, so I'm being a little bad to myself by eating something unhealthy... OK -- I'm not saying that's what happened, but maybe there's some truth to this nagging suspicion that this is one aspect of why I over-eat. UGH -- i'm pressing "publish post" but I might regret sharing all that later...
Self-loathing based food pleasure/punishment, that's exactly what's happening. Good for you for noticing this dynamic.
ReplyDeleteYep - you're doing a great job by listening to those "nagging suspicions", as those suspicions are usually right on! This PCP thing is right up your alley, I can tell ;)
ReplyDeleteI think I do that same punishment unhealthy/over eating too! I think that's been my pattern for years, i've just never consciously faced it until now.
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