Day 57, Fantastic carrot knows no fear...Pain on the other hand...

Day 57 -- My, how time flies. Today's workout was a both a tremendous success and failure. Before I started this program my eating schedule was really up in the air, like everything else. I ate when I was very hungry, and eating was a far second priority to being entertained. I've mentioned my A.D.Dness in past posts; my mind pretty much needs constant input in order for me to maintain sanity. Boredom is painful. I'm at my worst when i'm bored for any length of time. Anyway, this causes my meal time schedule to fluctuate. As the program has progressed my managing of food has improved, but today my mind got the better of me.

I woke up around 11 and had breakfast around 12 something. Naty came home and wanted to eat out so lunch was down the gullet at 2:30pm (way too soon after breakfast and morning snack). As soon as I snarfed down the p.c.p compliant salmon sandwich I knew it was going to sit there all day. Dinner came sometime later, but the damage had already been done.

When exercise came around I had to summon the intestinal fortitude of my forefathers to mentally dictate "I will do lunges and frog jumps now" (frog jumps is what I call them, I always make believe I'm handcuffed). Lunges were a bear -- nothing new there.We had to do frog jumps in the backyard as to not disturb our downstairs neighbors. Mind you, it's 10:15 at night and we're in our backyard in sweat pants under a flood light. It's come to this. In the last post attention was brought to the rest periods in between the sets -- with that fresh in our minds, we endeavored to complete the frog jumps with the correct break times in the charts. I had one of those awesome moments when that little voice in your head is telling you in a semi-panicked, but sincere voice "pretty sure you can't do this chief, we sent the order to the quadriceps and they agree. We will hit you with the pain if you don't cease and desist immediately." That was on set 3, by set 4 my body was trembling pretty hard core. I had to reach in deep and play every grunting exercise movie montage I could muster (ALL the Rockys...and G.I.Jane... just being honest).

Set 5 was an out of body experience. It was kinda like my carrot plank vision. I knew I was jumping, I knew I was counting the jumps, but I don't know how my body was following through with the order. It just was.

The limits we set on ourselves can be re-set. That's what I learned today. I finished all the sets with the right rep count in record time. Going back up the stairs to our apartment was arduous. We limped and swayed like two drunkards. The feeling of personal accomplishment was great and was a bit of a perspective-changer. It's funny how some of the biggest wars we wage are all quietly fought in our heads. Naty was four feet away and  could not have had a clue I was going through such an intense experience. I'm actually surprised I'm voicing my thoughts to this extent. Hope it helps any.

After the high of finishing the leg exercises faded some, my stomach was again center stage. I got through a bit more than half the shoulder exercises before I had to stop or risk immediate expulsion of dinner. There's the failure bit -- if I had woken earlier and spaced out my meals correctly, today would have been an all-around smashing success. Not the case. Workout Day 57 incomplete. That sucks, man. I'll get it right.

ROCKY MONTAGE!!

2 more things..

#1 Ramiro and I have thighs!  (I mean, I think I can see some definition that wasn't there before -- on day 6!  woohoo squats!)

#2 Carrot cake (one of my all-time favorite desserts) has kinda lost it's touch.  I ate my half cuz I thought I really wanted it -- it's almost like I didn't want to regret not having eaten it a couple weeks into the hard-core dieting stuff.. (kinda like the rib-eye - see previous post).  But even a couple bites in, I knew I wasn't really feeling it.  And now I can't get the taste of the thick too-sweet icing off my tongue.  Eck.  I could've gone with some blueberries instead, I think.  Truth is, I probably could've gone without dessert, but old habits are hard to break. Truth is, this isn't hunger.  It's another beast altogether..  It's all mental.  Maybe it's punishment eating -- I know Ramiro thinks that's a little ridiculous, but maybe some of y'all out there can sympathize?  I didn't get much writing done today, so I'm being a little bad to myself by eating something unhealthy...  OK -- I'm not saying that's what happened, but maybe there's some truth to this nagging suspicion that this is one aspect of why I over-eat.  UGH -- i'm pressing "publish post" but I might regret sharing all that later...